Where to begin other than the beginning?

Where to begin? With a head full of thoughts and ideas it's hard to find a starting place, a point from which to proceed. The idea of a blog, as with a journal, inside my own head appears to be quite good. But finding the impetus, a thread, a place from which to launch is far harder than I thought it would be.

Any place is as good as any other, to begin from. And as a whole new phase of my life teeters on the brink of beginning (at least it feels like it might be), getting the thoughts and ideas out of my head will have to serve as my starting point...

For the past ten years I had been living my dream, fulfilling the promise I had made to myself back in 1996. I was living and working in Africa, not as a tourist on holiday but a bone fide member of society.

Ten years ago I believed.

I believed that Africa needed people who were willing to invest their lives in building economy, building business, raising standards. Ten years on I no longer believe.

It is a type of psychological rape to have your beliefs destroyed by the actions and greed of others. Especially by the very people you had hoped to help.

There is a reason why the collective global perception of Africa is as a place of corruption, greed, poverty and war. Because that is exactly what it is. There are the occasional glimpses of hope and light but they are swiftly and routinely stifled by the greed and corruption of Africa.

It saddens me to think like this. It breaks my heart to realise that I have come to this place, but like a rape survivor I'm not yet ready to trust again, if I ever will be.