Babies and Small Children

Babies are necessary in our lives. Not necessarily our own babies but someone’s baby. We don’t have to go out and make babies for the satisfaction of them. What we need is to make sure that we have babies or small children in our lives.

Why? Well, they’re demanding and noisy and smelly and messy and generally disruptive. And they force us out of ourselves, they force us to focus elsewhere, to put our brains to work, not for ourselves but for the sake of the little person who needs us. There can be nothing more valuable to us as human beings than to have to interact with little people.

Recently one of my dearest friends had her third baby. I was unemployed, broke, bored and being chased by the creditors, trying to eek out every penny and generally trying not to go absolutely crazy. So, I got to spend a lot of my time with my friend and her gorgeous girls. Her six year old, my god daughter, and I sat and sewed together, we cooked meals and treats. We hung out. Boring though it may sound my god daughter thought it great fun to hang with her Aunty Noms. The second born, fabulously two years old, and I bonded in the mornings over a bottle (for her) and a coffee (for me). And number three, all of one month old, we walked the house and chatted about the world, whilst her mum could luxuriate in a long shower without worrying about her baby.

And all the time I was with the girls, did I have a moment to worry about the bills I couldn’t pay or how to raise some money? Of course not. The beauty of small children is that they need you, they need you for a clean bum, food in their tummies, to fix their problems and kiss their hurts away, read them stories and generally give them the love and discipline they need to become well rounded people.

The added benefit to all of this is that whoever is mum to the kids you get to hang out with gets a chance to think for herself. She gets a chance to breath, even for a minute. It’s a two way blessing. My friend has the assurance that her girls are with a trusted adult who will reinforce her discipline and will love her children unconditionally.

I also have the privilege of smacking rights. A horrible gift but essential when an adult spends a lot of time with small children. So far I haven’t had to smack any of my girls, although once or twice we’ve come close. And each time I’ve had to ask the girls not to make me do it. Much as I believe that smacking is an important disciplinary tool, when applied infrequently and consistently, it’s not something I relish. With my god daughter I actually asked her not to make me do it. I told her the next time she broke the rule (which she’d broken numerous times that day and that she knew she was breaking) I would have to smack her and then I asked her not to make me go there. Fortunately for me my god daughter is a very good girl and she understood that I was serious.

When we’re single or don’t have kids of our own it is so easy to get caught up in our own little lives and to forget that there is a whole world of experience out there that we’re missing. Spending time with small children enriches us, it teaches us patience and how to have uncomplicated fun. What could be better than making pizza with a six year old or bread and butter pudding with a two year old? We have a chance to give to someone else with the glorious return of a snuggle at the end of the day.